I am 18, 5 feet 2 inches, and weigh 118-120. I know this is a healthy weight, but I have been struggling with wanting to lose weight for about 4 yrs. I'm always on a diet, and I exercise all the time, sometimes obsessively. I don't think I'm fat, but I know I want to be skinnier, and constantly focus on the weight I need to lose. I want to get down to 105, maybe even 100lbs. I feel guilty after I eat anything (no matter how healthy it is) and seem controlled by food. I love food, but I want to be skinny more. Recently I have started to consume only 300-500 calories a day and skip meals, but it's hard because I get weak and so hungry. Sometimes I break down and eat a big meal, then feel sooo guilty and sick. Sometimes I chew or spit food so I can taste it without getting the calories since I dont want to throw up the food. If I feel fat, I'll have a bad day, and think about my weight 24/7. What is this?! Do I have an eating disorder? Thanks for your help!
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